How to Know You’re Making Progress in Therapy — Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It

Healing from trauma isn’t linear. It’s not a straight path upward—it’s more like a spiral, looping back over old pain but from a slightly different, wiser place each time. Many survivors of childhood trauma, especially those who experienced sexual abuse, often ask: “How do I know if therapy is actually working?”

It’s a valid and deeply human question. Progress in trauma therapy doesn’t always look or feel like what we expect. Sometimes, growth looks like tears. Sometimes it looks like exhaustion. And sometimes it’s quietly happening beneath the surface, even when you can’t see it yet.

Let’s explore some real, gentle signs that you’re healing—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

1. You’re Starting to Notice What You Feel

In the beginning, you may have felt numb, disconnected, or unsure how to even describe your emotions. Over time, you might start noticing small shifts: recognizing when you feel anxious, angry, or sad instead of going straight to “I’m fine.”

That awareness is a huge milestone. Noticing your emotions means you’re reconnecting to yourself—and that’s the foundation of healing.

2. You React Differently to Triggers

Maybe what used to send you spiraling now only lingers for a few minutes. Or you find yourself pausing before reacting, taking a breath, or reaching out for support instead of shutting down.

That’s your nervous system learning something new. Even when it still feels hard, that pause—however small—is progress.

3. You’re Setting (or Trying to Set) Boundaries

Saying no might still feel uncomfortable. But the fact that you even think about your limits, or recognize when something doesn’t feel okay, means you’re beginning to value your own safety and needs.

Healing often starts with noticing what’s not working anymore—and slowly giving yourself permission to change it.

4. You Feel More “In Your Body”

Trauma can make you live in your head, disconnected from your physical sensations. As you heal, you might catch moments where you notice your breathing, your heartbeat, or the way your shoulders tense up.

Those flashes of awareness are signs you’re rebuilding your connection to your body—learning to trust it again.

5. You Have More Compassion for Yourself

Where you once blamed yourself, you might now find glimpses of understanding. Maybe you can say, “It makes sense I reacted that way” instead of “What’s wrong with me?”

That shift toward self-compassion is one of the clearest signs of growth. It means you’re starting to view yourself through the lens of healing, not shame.

6. You’re Questioning Old Beliefs

You might notice yourself challenging thoughts like, “I have to be strong all the time” or “I’m too much.” Therapy invites you to re-examine these beliefs and replace them with truths that feel safer and more compassionate.

That inner questioning—while uncomfortable—is a powerful part of the healing process.

7. You’re Noticing the Need for Rest

Healing takes energy. Sometimes the most profound progress is realizing you’re allowed to rest, to take a break, to not be “on” all the time. Allowing yourself to slow down isn’t regression—it’s self-trust in action.

Progress Doesn’t Always Feel Like Progress

Sometimes therapy brings up old pain, leaving you feeling worse before you feel better. That doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it often means your system finally feels safe enough to let things surface.

Healing isn’t about getting rid of your pain. It’s about learning to move through it with more compassion, awareness, and support.

If You’re in Therapy in Ottawa, Toronto, or Montreal

Whether you’re just beginning or deep in your healing journey, remember: progress isn’t measured by how good you feel—it’s measured by how real you can be with yourself.

If you’re looking for a safe space to explore your healing, trauma-informed therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and move forward at your own pace. You don’t have to do it alone.